So, got the internet back finally. Probably won't get to posting art again for a little bit, or I dunno, maybe I will. Things have been kinda shitty lately. Aside from this being the most miserable June as far as weather's concerned, money woes and job stupidity have been adding additional stress. And my grandmother just passed away about 90 minutes ago. So yeah, I'm feeling fantastic. I was doing a closing shift at work when I got the news that she wasn't going to last much longer, so I didn't even get a chance to see her one last time. It's been a long time since I visited the nursing home, I just couldn't deal with seeing my once-lively grandma deteriorating physically and mentally for the past few years. So I missed my chance at a final goodbye, and I really feel like a shitty granddaughter. I failed her, and I've been failing her for years. Before the nursing home I never thought she'd go like that, I figured she'd just get a little older and keep on doing things the way she always had until the day she died. I never saw this slow degradation coming, and when it did I just stayed away. I guess that makes me pretty selfish, I should have done more for her, even before the nursing home, and there's no way to make up for it. I'm not really upset that she died, everybody has to, and I'm glad that she's finally released from that horrible state she's been in. I'm upset that I let myself miss our last few years because I was too self-involved and then too... I don't know, freaked out and depressed. So I blew it, and now I have to live with that, and it just marks another massive failure in my life with my family.